Fat Commuter in Mismatched Ensemble Hands Ass to Road Cyclist

(MINNEAPOLIS, MN)-- Fat girl Amy Boland, wearing mismatched gear, handed back the ass of an apparently fitter, more stylishly dressed cyclist on a better bike today on the Kenilworth Trail.

Sporting a two-tone blue jersey, turquoise and gray jacket, brick-red bandanna, olive shoes, black shorts, and black helmet, Boland admired the red-clad fellow cyclist's toned calves as she approached from behind at approximately 13 miles per hour. Drawing abreast, she called "On your left," as dictated by cycling etiquette.

To Boland's surprise, the other rider responded by pedaling faster. As the thin-tired red road bike with newly taped drops began to gain ground, the rider turned to exchange a glance with the would-be overtaker. Boland grinned, dropped her 12-year-old commuter bike into the fifth ring, and left the other rider behind in a cloud of dust and clashing colors.

"Ha, ha," Boland commented about the incident. However, sources close to the triumphant fat chick predicted that by the time she rode up steep Dupont Avenue between Vineland and Mt. Curve, she would be laughing out of the other side of her face.